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by Allen J. Sheinman | April 27, 2015

The Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU), the suspiciously covert-sounding research arm of the British business magazine The Economist, has rated the following as the safest cities on the planet, based on various metrics associated with crime, infrastructure safety, health security and digital security. We'll start at 10 for maximum drama.

10. New York City. It seems like the Big Apple is becoming boringly safe, racking up just 328 homicides in 2014, an all-time low. Those seeking a proper mugging might do well to venture into the suburbs.
9. Melbourne, Australia. The Economist cites a life expectancy of 86 years for residents. Local hint: Find something time-consuming to do while waiting for your inheritance.
8. Toronto. With more than 1,600 public parks, Torontonians get plenty of fresh air and exercise, especially when they jog to keep from getting under a pigeon.
7. Zurich, Switzerland. The Swiss' universal health-care system seems determined to undermine the funeral industry here.
6. Sydney, Australia. The city's famously strict gun laws help keep those pesky flying metal pellets in check.
5. Amsterdam, Netherlands. The EIU says this city ranks high in global food security (e.g., presumably, the famously good herb).
4. Stockholm, Sweden. Stockholmers boast the best digital security in Europe. We like the security, but the boasting quickly grows tiresome.
3. Osaka, Japan. The city's murder rate of just .79 for every 100,000 people is lower than any major city in the United States, says the EIU. That's less than one full person killed!
2. Singapore. This city is so safe, its burglars are on public assistance.
1. Tokyo. Crime here is almost unheard of. Of course, it could be debated whether gargantuan, lumbering, fire-belching monsters technically commit "crimes."