They might not have the heft of official, traditional don't-go-to-work holidays, but the following are all real, all take place in March and all pretty much fall on the flip side of "sane."
March 4: Courageous Follower Day. Designed to celebrate "good followership," this occasion "honors the too often disparaged role of followers" in human endeavor, according to the experts at Answers.com. Of course, it's best to check to see if anyone in the neighborhood already is observing the holiday, or you risk taking a leadership role here.
March 9: Get Over It Day. Started in 2005 by a pining ex-boyfriend who needed to get a grip, this holiday first garnered attention a year later when media outlets such as ABC's Good Morning America and ESPN's SportsCenter took notice (as shown on getoveritday.com). The fickle finger of fame has long since moved on, leaving celebrants to practice what they preach.
March 13: Earmuffs Day. It was during the harsh winter of 1874 up in Farmington, Maine, that 15-year-old Chester Greenwood grew weary of the numbness inflicting his frozen ears; he took some chicken wire and tufts of fur, and with the help of his seamstress grandmother whipped up a device that he finally patented three years later -- on March 13, 1877 -- as the "Champion Ear Protector," soon to be more informally known as an "ear muffler" and today, earmuffs. Personally, we would rather celebrate Ponce De Leon Day, for the guy who discovered Florida.
March 14: Pi Day. Not only is there a holiday to celebrate a symbol that denotes the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter, there's a website -- piday.org -- devoted to the occasion. Which goes to prove: Some people will use anything as a pretext to sell T-shirts.
March 18: Awkward Moments Day. This is a day to commemorate the embarrassing things you've done during the previous year -- like sending your spouse a Happy Pi Day card.
March 27: Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day. Time to load up the MP3, at least for today, with gems such as (and they're all real songs): "Mama Get the Hammer, There's a Fly on Papa's Head," "If You Want to Keep the Beer Cold (Put It Next to My Ex-Wife's Heart)," "I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here," "She Even Woke Me Up to Say Goodbye," "How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away" and our favorite, "If the Phone Doesn't Ring It's Me Not Calling You."
March 30: Pencil Appreciation Day. In this ultra-high-tech era, it's nice to step back and celebrate a humble, ages-old workhorse of communication and graphic art. Didya know that, while mass produced in Europe since the early 1600s, it wasn't until 1822 that the first pencils were made in the U.S.? And according to pencils.com, it wasn't until March 30, 1858, that one Hymen Lipman of Pennsylvania was granted a U.S. patent for creating a pencil with an attached eraser. Interestingly, most European pencils eschew the eraser, which either means most Europeans are really sure of themselves or, more likely, they'd rather make a big crossed-out mess.
March 31: Bunsen Burner Day. It's the birthday (in 1811) of the burner's inventor, German scientist Robert Wilhelm Eberhard von Bunsen. High-school chemistry labs around the world will celebrate with a tip of the test tube, but you might prefer to write a country song around the holiday, something like, say, "I Called My Old Flame on Bunsen Burner Day (But She Gave Me the Old Cold Shoulder)."
Sources: Meetings & Conventions, gone-ta-pott.com and those cited in text